Demolishing Fear: Give yourself permission to be the woman of your dreams!

Everyday is full of inflection points.  Little forks in the road, opportunities to pivot toward or away from the person you want to be.  When I walked into my first jiu jitsu class, I didn’t know what an important inflection point that day would be for me.  I just thought it was something fun to try, I didn’t even really know quite what is was. But it turns out that, choosing to train jiu jitsu has transformed my life and lead to a cascade of good decisions that continue to make me into the woman I want to be.  But that woman doesn’t always come out without a fight, sometimes I grip on TIGHT to my own fear.

There are little battles like; I don’t want to roll with that lower rank or that super strong dude because they gave me a hard time last week.  And big ones, like I am afraid of taking competing seriously because I freeze and will feel like a total failure if I lose or I am afraid of starting this company because WHO AM I to do something like that, I couldn’t possibly make a difference.  

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But if jiu jitsu has taught me anything, it’s that if you show up and put the time in you can get good at anything. If you are willing to get your ego CRUSHED and stay in the pain, nothing can stop you.  

So I started asking myself about each of my fears. Is this fear keeping me from being the woman I ultimately want to be?  Is this fear keeping me playing small? And most importantly, is this fear even real?

Back to my internal battles, SO WHAT if someone who has trained for less time than me or who relies totally on strength gives me a hard time! I want to be great and this is an opportunity for me to get better! SO WHAT if you fail in a competition, would you rather sit on the sidelines kicking yourself for not having the courage to step on the mat for the rest of your life? Obviously not.  And WHO ARE YOU to not pursue something you are passionate about, that could make your life and other women’s lives so much better! You are just robbing yourself of the life you want and the world of what you have to give.

It’s time we start looking our fears in the face and giving ourselves permission to be the women we dream about being! Jiu Jitsu is a catalyst for this kind of thinking because in jiu jitsu the ego-driven fears are obvious and abundant, it starts there. But it’s time we start pushing fear to the side and owning everything we are, in every aspect of our lives.  That is my definition of being a FIERCE FEMALE.